and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
he high fived his dick after we had sex
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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