i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
