So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
