He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
