drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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