this will be a night to untag.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
