my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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