I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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