i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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