I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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