Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I need to sanitize my soul.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
