I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my shit smells like andre
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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