my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
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