my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
