i don't like sucking hair
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
its liver damage thursday
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
