White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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