This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You're like the curious george of whores
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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