well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
