Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
40s are totally the cure
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I have tasted many bathrooms
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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