I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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