I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
