I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
