and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize