dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
