i just made my gag reflex go away.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
