I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
