Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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