So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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