An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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