2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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