i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
