We're like a lot better than the average bears
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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