Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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