K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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