We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
