Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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