Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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