It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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