hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
