I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
