Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You made out with two different species that night
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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