and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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