yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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