and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
