But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize