omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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