I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
