how do flat chested girls get laid?
my shit smells like andre
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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