I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
