epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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