so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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