Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
