Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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