Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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