I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
