wanna go halves on a baby?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
