dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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