Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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