I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
