Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
