But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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