Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
