that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
