You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We have started to decorate penises.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
