You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We left the knife in your bed.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
