Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
