The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize