is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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