I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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