All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
